This is a short story I wrote. I felt it resembles the thoughts I had growing up. It is a little sad, but I hope you enjoy it.
She never did like herself. What was there to like? She wasn’t pretty like all the other girls she saw in the street or in the magazines. She wasn’t smart and whilst she liked to believe she was funny, deep inside she knew no one agreed. She wasn’t sexy or cute, the attributes she felt made a person, those she didn’t have. She wasn’t skinny, she had too many chins, one eye higher than the other. What was there to like in her? She honestly didn’t know.
People didn’t think she heard the things they said about her, but she did. Never once were they positive: Ugly”, “Fat”, “your parents must be so proud to have a monster like you”, “Go kill yourself”, “I’d kill myself if I ever looked like that”, “your sister was prettier, smarter, funnier”. People ask why she is so negative, the truth?…when all she ever heard was negative things against her, eventually she began to believe them herself. She must be ugly, she must be a monster. If that’s all people ever had to say about her, then surely it must be true?
Throughout the years, her mind grew used to the hurtful comments not necessarily from other people, but more from herself. She didn’t belong here in the world, she didn’t belong anywhere. Had she not been born, would things have been better? In her mind they would, the negativity would stop and people would be happier with her gone, although…it’s not like they noticed her in the first place.
As she got older she started thinking of her future, would she ever meet someone? Or have a family? Probably not, as her heart crushing thoughts overwhelmed her. Someone as ugly as her would never be with some one, she couldn’t bare to put someone through the burden of being with her. In the end that’s all she ever was. A burden.
People ask her why she’s so negative to herself. It seems they’ve forgotten…
She never did like herself.